How to Be a Travel Sports Mom - A Crash Course

So after many years on the sidelines, watching my kids play baseball, basketball, soccer, tennis and softball, I have now turned into the one thing I dreaded most…a travel sports mom.  I managed to make it through 14 years as a mom without acquiring that title, but lo and behold, I couldn’t evade it anymore.

My very determined and driven 11 year old daughter has developed a love of softball.  Give her a few minutes and she’ll run to put her mitt on and throw a few balls with you.  It’s definitely become the thing she most wants to do.  So we let her try out for our local travel softball team and she made the cut.  We’re thrilled for her because that little round ball has become her passion, but now my husband and I must learn to adapt to our lives as ‘travel team parents’. 

Already we see it is a new way of life.  Softball has just by default become THE most important thing on our calendar.  As we learn the ropes of this new role we must play, we have begun to ask other parents that have found themselves in this situation before a few questions about what we can expect over the next year as travel team parents.  This is some of the advice we have received.  We don’t know if this makes us excited or terrified of what lies ahead, but above all else, we just want our daughter to be happy.

Realize that this team comes before all else.  Most coaches of travel teams are pretty insistent about one thing.  The team comes first.  That means no missed practices and no missed games, unless you have a very, very good excuse.  It’s a long season and you’ve just signed up for the duration.  Put the rest of your life on hold during the sports season, because there are lots and lots of games to play and you better be there.

Don’t question the coach.  Well, at least not during the game.  The coach puts a great deal of time and effort into developing the team and doesn’t need parents on the sidelines wondering why he ran a certain play or why he changed the batting order.  If you have something to say, do it at another time and not during the game.

Don’t coach from the sidelines.  The kids hear lots of noise as they’re running around the bases.  They need to focus on what their coaches are telling them to do and not what the two dozen parents in their fold up chairs think they should do.  Cheer them on, but keep quiet otherwise.

Don’t talk about anyone on the team.  No matter where you are or what you say, you can be sure that somehow the wrong person will hear or what you say will be misconstrued.  You will be spending a lot of time with these people, so as in the previous suggestion, it’s best to keep quiet.

Learn to be flexible.  Practices will run long.  Games will be delayed.  And when it comes to softball tournaments, expect to be there all day or all weekend.  Many times you will need to be there at the crack of dawn, but won’t know your schedule for the day until after your first game, so you may be there for hours and hours with nothing to do in between.  And if it rains, all bets are off.

Be prepared to keep yourself occupied.  This relates to the previous suggestion.  With all the uncertainty as to where you have to be when and how long it will take, it’s best to keep your car stocked with things to keep you busy – a book, a magazine, some bills to pay, etc.  Better yet, wear your sneakers and use the time to get in some much needed exercise.

Expect to spend money - a lot of it!  Aside from the steep financial commitment to join the team, there are lots of other expenditures that go hand in hand with being part of a travel team.  First there’s any additional or new equipment that you need to buy (Dick’s Sporting Goods has now surpassed Target as our favorite place to shop!).  Then there are all of the concessions, t-shirts and trinkets that they sell at each of the tournaments.  It’s a long day and even if you start out saying ‘no’ to many of the items, by day’s end you wind up saying ‘yes’ to something.  If you have other kids with you watching, then this becomes even more of an issue.

Invest in sunscreen and every type of outdoor clothing imaginable.  Expect to spend a lot of time outside and in the sun (at least in softball, they don’t play when it’s raining).  And be prepared for every temperature fluctuation because you will experience it.

Expect the trunk of your car to never be empty again.  It’s now become the repository for sports equipment, chairs, blankets, extra clothes, cleats, water bottles, snacks and the likes.  It’s just the way it is.  You’ll learn to live with it.

Get ready for the highs and lows that come with playing the game.  Especially with girls, emotions often seem to run high when playing at this level of competition.  Be prepared for elation and disappointment and use it as a way to teach your kids a good lesson or two.

Use the opportunity to make new friends.  Very often, the kids on the team and their families become close friends.  You spend a lot of time together and share the same interests.  Sometimes you travel together.  That makes for lots of opportunities to develop new friendships – a definite benefit of the experience.

Encourage, encourage, encourage.  Be your child’s staunchest supporter and biggest cheerleader.  Help boost her up when she’s had a bad game, and remind her that this is all about having fun and trying your best and that’s it.   Winning should just be an added bonus.

Enjoy the ride.  Despite my concerns over taking on the role of ‘travel team parent’, most parents tell me that they thoroughly enjoy the experience of watching their child develop and do something that they truly love to do.  As parents, isn’t that all we can ask for?

So, the truth is that I don’t think becoming a travel sports mom will really be so bad.  I think the hardest part is adapting to some of the unspoken rules of the game.  But I am looking forward to new friendships, new challenges, and new accomplishments for my daughter, as well as the rest of the family.  And nothing beats the smile that I see on my daughter’s face every time she steps out on the field.  It’s worth it all!